Sometimes you just need to accept that the world at large is a gigantic suck-fest. You get up in the morning (did we mention you have to get up in the morning) drink coffee (Which is most certainly not the finest Kopa Lua blend) get off to work (through bad traffic and doesn’t pay enough) have lunch (at that diner that’s always so disappointing) stay late (because your boss is a jerk and doesn’t understand “schedules”) and drive home (with cops that are no doubt out cruising for Quota tickets).
In short, everything is terrible and anyone who tells you different is trying to sell you something. That Sucks Day brings awareness to this fact and is a great way to shut down those nay-sayer optimists no one really likes.
History of That Sucks Day
That Sucks Day seems to have come out of nowhere as a vindictive dedication to all things that suck. Throughout the history of the holiday and the organization that sponsored it, That Sucks LLC, they seek to exemplify all that is terrible and wrong in the world. As such they recognize historical figures (sometimes of questionable existence) that have been excellent representatives of suckage throughout the world.
Characters like the terrible seer Nostrasuckus who, rather than predicting a broad range of events specialized only in letting us know when things were going to suck. Oddly, he appeared to be a terrible seer as well (unsurprisingly) as none of his predictions have come true. Which is hard to believe given the huge amount of suck in the world.
We can’t forget Evangelista Torricelli either, the man that proved that the ultimate in suckage technology existed, the vacuum, which of course was immediately followed by the invention of the vacuum pump. If the world didn’t suck before, whole new ways of sucking were surely on the way.
Did we mention that the American Tax Day, the Sinking of the Titanic, and Abraham Lincoln’s assassination all occurred on That Sucks! Day? Yeah, it really is that bad of a day.
How to celebrate That Sucks! Day
Well first, you might pop on over to thatsucks.net and get yourself involved with the organization that serves as the foremost watchdog on the suckage of history, the present, and no doubt will keep cataloguing things that suck far into the future.
Unless they get lazy and quit, (people sometimes suck like that). There you can discover the history of suckage, little sayings called “suckisms” to get you through a sucky day, and of course no life is complete without a complete selection of suckumentaries of people who have come, gone, and sucked life away at every corner. That Sucks! Day is your opportunity to stop having such a bright disposition, and just let everyone around you know “That Sucks!”
